Preface

Howdy y'all!

This page's information and most of its photos have been taken directly from my instagram post of the same name. To see it in that format, check it out here.

Otherwise, keep on scrolling down! 🙂

I do plan on expanding more on each point. I have a lot to say on the matter, expecially in the accommodations bit. I mean, come on, a chance to rave about how cool my lil reacher grabber thing is, or how fluffy my heated blanket is? You bet your sweet bippy imma run with it! 😁

But for now it felt pertinent to get this info into web format.

It's not the heat, it's the humidity,

- Toren Gunn

Things Change.

In the before time, I was young and healthy. I went places and did stuff and worked various demanding jobs, all while taking care of my basic and more complex needs, often all on the same day. I ran my life like a well-manned ship, navigating storms, firing cannons and coming out the other end unscathed.

That's no longer the case.

I've now been graced with various chronic illnesses and ailments which affect my ability to do what I used to. And because I've got what's referred to as "dynamic disability", my capabilities vary from day to day. And the annoying bit (as if the whole situation wasn't annoying in itself) is that all the help, self-care, rest, walking it off, tracking symptoms for trends, meds, and pacing in the world can't help me predict what my capabilities will be like tomorrow.

It blows.

But I'm not here to perform my disabilities or illnesses, or even name them (apart from the AuDHD, which I've referenced quite heavily in posts on social media). You're just going to have to take my word for it.

Or don't. I'm still disabled either way.

What I'm here about is to tell you how I do what I do while working around the dumb unpredictability of this bs, and hopefully either help someone in the same boat find a tool that helps them, or, help you understand why I can't commit to scheduling. Or both.

Timing is Everything

Sometimes there's no such thing as a good day. So you gotta see what you can feasibly do and work within your limits. Sometimes the limit is survival. That's chronic illness for you.

So when I have enough energy, I'll try to capture as much visual content as I can without exhausting myself-- photos of my sketches, me holding my art, and anything I might need that isn't a screenshot or a previously taken photo.

Behold my camera roll: multiple shots, different poses, different lighting, multiple sketches. I might not need them now, but they're there when I do. How I do it:

Swivel stool near a window & lamps
Camera timer
Portrait mode
A very loose definition of what I consider "presentable" re hair, make-up, clothes and glasses
Make-up, art, etc cetera at my desk (or within grabbing range)

Be Okay With Half-A$$ing It

If I've only got the energy to do half a job, then I need to only do half a job. The rest should wait until later. Maybe not even the same day, weekend, or fortnight either.

Now, I say this as if I'm some kind of pacing guru. I'm not. Babygirl, I've got both autism and ADHD, so when I get in the zone I'll deplete my energy reserves without even realising it. Plus, birds are my special interest. You do the math.

And listen, I'm also a perfectionist. So the things I'm telling you about? I'm bad at. But they say that if you do something enough it becomes a habit (which is a bit of a contentious theory re ADHD tbh) so maybe if you just do a little, it's okay, and eventually you're not gonna feel so bad about it.

This bird? Still not done. But every now and again I'll do a little more work on it, and eventually she'll be complete.

And I'm okay with that (kinda).

Accommodate Yourself

If this were a workplace, would you feel awkward asking for accommodations regarding your conditions to help you work to the best of your ability? A different chair, lower lighting, wearing loop earplugs or sunglasses indoors?

Yeah, me too. Forget I asked (the last 2 I just started... doing, no convo).

But at home there's no one to scoff at you but you (and I guess whoever you live with, but if they're gonna be jerks about it tell them to kick rocks), so really you can do whatever helps you be the most effective, productive you with the least amount of taxation to your energy levels or nervous system.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Here's a non-exhaustive list of things I use to make creating (and living) more accessible:

Lap desk
Memory foam wedge pillows
Heated blanket and pillow
Heated underblanket
Hot water bottles
A device holder that clips to the headboard of my bed
An ice pack that's also a back brace
Keyring loops on every zipper pull for easy grabbing
Ergonomic paintbrushes and pencil holders
Compression gloves with grippy dots on the palms
Grabby tool/litter picker tool
Large, easy access bags for art supplies etc
A tower plug extender next to my bed
Device charging cables in every room, with long cables
Folding tabletop easel
Long plug extender on the desk
Art boards (for portability)
Collapsible side tables
A rolling stool with a saddle seat

If you're interested, hit me up for some links. I don't get paid for it nor am I an affiliate but I love to help. 🙂

Develop a System

In good moments (or when frustration kicks in and I push through pain and fatigue, borrowing energy from tomorrow, ultimately screwing over Future Toren) I've spent time arranging my spaces to have things close to hand, so everything requires less movement.

Example: when I was recovering from surgery, I had cabinets next to my bed with stuff I'd need or want: face wipes, chargers, snacks, salt packets, books, etc. Getting up unaided was impossible for weeks, so having my stuff close was honestly genius. Other things I've implemented:

Delivery subscriptions (if you're into that)
Calendar reminders (posting schedules, appointments, hockey games)
Newsletter subscriptions to relevant shops/sites for deals
Delivery in general (many supermarkets have this service)
Rechargeable batteries (it's a system, trust me)
Downsizing/less clutter/better storage solutions (my collections aren't getting donated, but old clothes can be, and clean surfaces plus everything having a home is mind-settling)

Consider Future You

Energy on any given day is variable, yet so so finite. Anything extra spent over my limit today is borrowed from Future Toren.

I gotta consider that guy. I am that guy. Or will be. It's all Jeremy Bearimy.

If I overdo it today, not only might Future Toren have less HP tomorrow, but it may cause a flare up-- symptoms run wild and energy is severely depleted (or absent af). Flares can be long. These are days that I'm glad for those ready-made bottles of Huel and my 24 pack of Gatorade.

I have an app called Visible (not affiliated) which tracks my heart rate and HRV, gives me an energy score in the morning, and alerts me when I'm overdoing it. Big help in not screwing over Future Toren.

Which leads in well to my next point.

Sometimes, you just can't.

The harsh truth about chronic illnesses and dynamic disabilities is that things fluctuate, and no accommodation in the world can replace legit fitness for doing.

So on these days I rest, lying down in that liminal space between sleep and consciousness, unable to do anything meaningful at all. Just breathe, take meds, drink water.

On these days it's nigh impossible to even tap the phone screen, let alone hold the device itself.

Light hurts.

Noise hurts.

Pressure hurts.

Thinking is impossible.

So on these days, and there are many of them, I just...

don't.

✨ Questions and Answers ✨

Why won't you tell me what conditions you have?

Because I don't have to.

Surely you don't need all those tools and accommodations?

Not every day, maybe, but collectively, yes. I like doing things, and when my body disagrees with my plans I'll use whatever I need.

I'm interested in some of the tools you mentioned!

That's awesome! Send me a message and I'll send you a link to either the tool I own personally or one like it with the same functionality, in the case where you're in a different country or mine is no longer available.

I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

A crisp high-five if you got that reference.

But fr, I'm thinking about making more content on making art accessible, I just... gotta figure out how I wanna go about it. 🤔

But you don't look sick.

Thank you!

Conclusion

Despite what I'm going through, I can still create content and art, just not on a consistent basis. My disabilities make me unreliable, something difficult for me to accept.

But facts are facts.

All I can do is try to make it easier for myself, so when the stars align just right and I have both the time and the energy to create, my tools are accessible and I can do what makes me happy.

My therapist is on board with me doing happy things. Plus, lower stress levels theoretically lessen the effects of some of my nonsense? Haven't seen it in action, but maybe there's an invisible threshold I haven't met.

I hope this has helped y'all understand my whole deal a bit better. And if any other disabled person with the passion to create but is fuzzy on "how to make it happen" sees this, I hope some of this resonates and helps clear a path.

I also hope you enjoy the background photos.

I took them myself. ❤️

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